These two songs are very good portraits of the point in my life when it seemed hopeless for me and my husband to make things work. Everything seemed hopeless.
I know now that alcohol played a very big part in everything that was happening - my drinking and his were taking us on a very fast downhill slide towards the end of something that had the potential to be truly beautiful. I was careening towards the biggest mistake of my life - with a glass of whiskey in my hand to keep me company.
I do not make excuses for any of it. I am the one that chose to drink; I am the one that behaved in the way that I did. However, I am able to see that the alcohol did contribute. It made me into a person I hated. It made him into a person I hated.
We both fortunately were finally able to see the destruction that we were causing, and have since been able to make very positive changes. We were able to save our family.
Everytime I hear either of these songs it is a strong reminder to me of how far we've (I've) come. I always have to take a minute to catch my breath and be grateful for everything that has come to pass in my life. I am able to make the decision to be a person I can love. And I make that decision every day.
And every time I look at him now, I am grateful. Every time my daughter tells me she loves me, I am grateful. Every time my stepson gives me a hug, I am grateful.
The first video I chose is no longer available it was Sober by Pink.