The Journey

I can almost grasp it.

The things that I saw, the experience that I had, and the way that I felt as I left an emotionally abusive marriage and took off on my own for the first time...

It was September 19, 2002.   My 23rd birthday.  I loaded up everything I was willing to fight for into my truck and started driving at six in the morning.  I headed through New Mexico into Arizona.  I spent three nights in Phoenix, then headed into California - back home.   I waved goodbye to the mountains with a cocky hand.  I exulted in the mesas and red dirt that I drove towards.  It was raining as I drove into Phoenix.  I cried jubilantly when I crossed the state line into California.  I almost wrecked multiple times staring out the window at the ocean.

I saw and felt so much on that journey - the beginning of my journey - that I think I relegated it to the back of my mind to be dealt with later.  It was too much.  Now, eight years later, it's beginning to resurface.  I think I will be lucky if I am ever able to put that experience into words.  I know that I will have to revisit this again. 

I was brave and confident and terrified and clueless.... and I did it.  On my own.    

Holiday Tradition Revisited

Yesterday Caitlin, Gavin, and I went to visit my sister and her husband at their house.  My sister really wanted to revive one of our holiday traditions from when we were kids - baking and decorating sugar cookies!  We used to do this every year with our mom and all the kids - it was always a blast, and yesterday was no exception.  We were joined by a couple of friends and another super fun kiddo. 

I love having family nearby to have experiences like this with.  Next year I think we'll expand and do even more Christmas-y stuff together - like making construction paper chains!

Another Caitlin Tidbit (and a Gavin tidbit)

Right now, Caitlin's favorite book is The Very Hungry Caterpillar, and her favorite movie is The Incredibles. She still loves to play with her princess toys.  Also, she is going to be "a real firegirl" when she grows up.

Gavin is obsessed with the old-school Donkey Kong Country on the Super Nintendo, anything Star Wars, and Monopoly.  He has decided he is going to design video games when he grows up.

These kids are just too cool. 

Caitlin Quote of the Day

"I like looking at purple porcupines."

Said at the dinner table, completely randomly. 

Also, the other day, she and I were eating lunch together and she handed me a french fry dipped in ranch.  I ate it and she said, "I licked that.....(pause pause) and you just ate it."

Not that I should be encouraging this sort of thing....but I could not stop laughing.

Random Notes

Someday I will have a room all to myself for books, music, sewing, writing, crafts.....whatever I want, basically.  I will also have a room dedicated solely to making music, and another to do yoga and weights, and possibly for Caitlin to practice dance in (if she ends up being interested in dance). 

Yesterday all four of us made some Christmas crafts - one of which was a construction paper chain which we hung up on the walls like a garland.  I felt like I was ten years old again.  It was awesome. 

Ryan is going to have his own booth at the NAMM show in January.  This is so exciting and yet so terrifying - this will essentially extend us to our limit financially.  If it doesn't pay off with at least one order, we will be left with a bunch of debt and nothing to show for it.  Scary.  However, even if that is the result of this particular show, we will keep going.  I don't think Esoterik Guitars is ever going to not exist, now that it's here. 

I am contemplating quitting my job and just concentrating on school and raising my kids. This, however, hinges mostly on how the show goes in January. 

We are jumping off the deep end...... here we go!

Tonight During Game NIght....

We were playing Sorry! with the kids, and it was Caitlin's turn.  She pulled her card, pretended to read it, and announced "My card says that the person with the yellow pieces wins the game."  Guess who was playing with the yellow pieces?  Best part of the day, by far. 

She knows almost all the letters of the alphabet by sight already and at least one word that starts with those letters.  Mommy's proud. 

We went and picked apples together the other day. 

She prefers the green ones.

I'm excited to get back out on the hiking trails with her, now that the weather has cooled down.  We need to get her some pint-sized hiking boots (although she does love slippin' and slidin' down the hills). 

Looking forward to more adventures with my stinky boys and my little ladybug!