Someone said this to me a few years ago. At the time, I just smiled and nodded, thinking "What a dreamer. Who has the time or money?" I was thinking "follow your bliss" had to be something along the lines of "live each day as if it's your last" (no one would spend their last day at work or balancing their checkbook, so that little cliche is out). I negatively decided there were too many consequences and not enough time, money or talent to really delve into something that would make ME a more happy and satisfied person. I was taking a beautiful, life-changing idea and assigning monetary value to it. I was limiting myself to old and tired ideas of who I was and what I wanted out of life. I was over-thinking and too-quickly dismissing an idea that truly has the power to change a persons life for the better.
I was fooling myself into taking the easy, less happy way out. It was easier to drink, smoke and party and tell myself that I was happy because I was having fun. It was easier to connect with people on the superficial levels reached through alcohol and call those people my friends than it was to really get to know and trust them. I was too lazy, ignorant and selfish to face life head-on with no crutches or excuses.
Those "friends" are not the ones that were there for me when I was desperate for help to survive financially. They never had the guts to tell me I was screwing up - because they never really knew me, and I never really knew them. I was wasting my time. I was wasting myself by not believing in myself.
I made some decisions and changes for myself and my beautiful daughter, and am now following my bliss. I have learned so much about myself over the past year because of this decision, and feel happier, healthier and stronger than I ever have. I am doing things I never would have thought possible a year ago. I barely recognize myself sometimes - the negative, moody, sarcastic self is gone (well, most of the time) and in her place I see a confident, silly, laughing woman. I am working towards goals instead of just talking about them and setting a great example for my daughter. I still slip sometimes - everyone does - but I never give up.
Robert, thank you for telling me to follow my bliss. It took awhile to sink into this thick skull of mine, but I finally get it.
when to howl back
1 week ago