These days it seems like my perception is off - in a bad way.
Instead of seeing my husband as the wonderful, loving, sweet, sexy man that he is, I have been looking at him like he's a business partner or roommate. I know that this can happen when you've been together for a while, but I also know that the way that I look at things and people is ultimately up to me. Time for a change.
Instead of appreciating my stepson for the hilarious, original, and creative kid that he is, I've been so frazzled by everything I have to do I find myself being overly stern and critical with him. That has to stop.
Instead of seeing my daughter as the sweet, funny, smart, and independent girl that she is, I've been feeling like she's been a nuisance - her pleas for attention and playtime with me have been making me frustrated and short-tempered because I can't get the things done that I want to get done. But you know what? WHO CARES???? Who cares if the laundry doesn't get done right this second? Who cares if the dishes sit for the night or the crumbs don't get vacuumed up? Who cares if things fall into disarray, as long as my house is full of laughter and happiness?
I am shocked that I have allowed myself to become this apathetic about the people that I love and that I've allowed myself to take them for granted this much. I am appalled at myself.
It seems I need to constantly remind myself how much of a blessing the people in my life are. It seems I need to focus more on the good and make it known how much I appreciate all the blessings in my life.
Time to renew and refocus my perception.
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Right now Caitlin is outside painting on her easel with watercolors... she just said to me "When I grow up maybe I'll be an artist." Maybe she will. I'm not happy about what it took for me to be home with her, but I am SO happy to be home with her. I can't believe I ever thought daycare would be good enough.
