It's 2:25am right now and I'm (obviously) still up. I worked until 1:15, and now, even though I'm exhausted, I'm having a difficult time shutting down for the night. I don't really want this night to end.
It is unseasonably warm here right now - it must be at least 75 degrees outside still - and I wish I had a comfy chair to sit in outside so I could listen to the stillness and enjoy the warm air. The wind is blowing just every now and then. The trees are swishing tonight.
The quiet right now is reminding me of when I was nursing....quite frequently in those days my daughter would finish, I would put her back to bed, and then be unable to sleep. I would stay up reading or writing or organizing something and just enjoying the different atmosphere of being the only person awake and the absolute quiet.
I wish I had the opportunity to stay up tonight until I just can't keep my eyes open any longer....but I know that in about five and a half hours her robust little voice is going to yell "MOOOOOMMM!!!" at an amazingly high decibel, and I will stumble out of bed to her room, get her out of bed, on the potty, then downstairs where I will say baby mommy really really needs to make coffee right now please play for just a few minutes. And she'll say but mommy I want you! with that look on her face and maybe if I'm lucky she will be still and just let me hold her for a few minutes before we start going at the speed of light.
the exhausted me i've come to know
4 hours ago