Remember This

I just sat on the couch and did nothing but hold my daughter and listen to music for half an hour.

I needed that. We both did.

Some Photos

Concentration at its finest.

Look at this handsome guy.

A Letter to my Daughter

My Sweet Girl,

Just a few things I have learned over the years that I want to share with you.


Start saving money as soon as you start earning it (I wish I had).

Love as much as you can.  Show your love whenever you can.

Learn to forgive people, including yourself.

Learn to let go of old hurts.

Listen more than you talk.

Don't gossip.

Love.  Love.  Love.

Give everyone a chance.

Do not judge.  You never know what someone else may be going through.

Do not let people mistreat you.  Stand up for yourself.

Remember that you teach people how to treat you by how you allow them to treat you.

Never take anyone for granted, least of all yourself.

Don't forget to enjoy the small moments in life.

Unplug. Live in the moment.

Go outside whenever you can.

Practice compassion and gratitude every chance you get.

Simplify. 

Take care of your body. Your health is irreplaceable.

Don't smoke.

Appreciate what you have, don't dwell on what you think you don't have.

Love yourself. No one else is quite like you.

I love you more than words could ever express. I hope that your life will continue to be full of joy, new experiences, good people, and love.

Love,
Mom

The Good Life

I'm livin' it.

I feel so much gratitude these days, so much happiness that sometimes it's overwhelming. We live in a beautiful area in a great condo that we can actually afford, I like my job, Ryan likes his job, Esoterik Guitars is going well, Ryan and I have learned how to be beyond good to each other, things with my stepson are the best they've been since he was little (he's now 13), and things with his mother are finally peaceful. We eat extremely well, we are financially comfortable, and we have an amazing group of family and friends that are there for us whenever we need them. We are so, so lucky.

.... and then there's Caitlin.

Caitlin just amazes me every single day. She's so sweet and kind, so charming and generous and smart. She's so open to learning new things and considering ideas that challenge what she thinks is true. She continues to teach me how to be a better human being every single day.

I haven't been writing things down as much lately, so I'm going to do a little recap of some things that have been happening.

She is eight years old and in the third grade. She is an excellent student and really enjoys school. She says her third grade teacher (Mrs. Williams) and her second grade teacher (Miss Ward) are both so amazing that they are tied for first place as her favorites. When given the option to play hooky and stay home with me on occasion, she chooses to go to school. Mrs. Williams is the same teacher that Gavin had in third grade - she still has a thank you note that he wrote to her pinned up in her classroom.

Last night Caitlin decided that when she left Hamburger Town (where she lived before she was born) to come live on Earth with us, she got here through a hole in the space-time continuum. Wow!

Her current nicknames are Rollerblades, Blader-rolls, Sunshine Bear, Sweet Girl, Cait Cait Lo Bait, and Angel Pie. She calls her dad Ah-Da-Doo and me Ah-Ma-Moo. No idea why, but it's really cute.

She informed me yesterday that her style is changing from liking pink and purple clothes to a more "sporty" style with a little bit of rocker style thrown in (I approve!).

Her best friend is Annamae, and they are both thinking about switching to Teach Elementary next year for the more challenging work.

She loves to read to the point that she just bought herself a book light (blue, with an owl-shaped clip) so that she can read at night while her brother is asleep, and we frequently have to tell her to "put the book down." She likes to read while she eats.

Her current career goals include: Neuroscientist, botanist, artist, marine biologist, and entomologist.

She still likes playing with Barbies, but Hello Kitty is out, Tinkerbell is out, My Little Pony is out. She likes to play Minion Rush on the iPad, and still likes to do art and play board games. She and her friends like to make up "stations" (which I think consist of different games or toys at each one) and spend a little bit of time at each one.

Her favorite colors are currently black, blue and purple I think.

She is obsessed with hair chalk, and picks out her outfits each day very carefully. She loves to wear skirts.

I'm sure there's more I could include, but that'll all I can think of for now.

Life is so good. The future's so bright I gotta wear shades.

I am a lucky, lucky girl.

For My Daughter, by Sarah McMane

For My Daughter

By Sarah McMane

“Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.” – Clementine Paddleford

Never play the princess when you can
be the queen:
rule the kingdom, swing a scepter,
wear a crown of gold.
Don’t dance in glass slippers,
crystal carving up your toes --
be a barefoot Amazon instead,
for those shoes will surely shatter on your feet.
Never wear only pink
when you can strut in crimson red,
sweat in heather grey, and
shimmer in sky blue,
claim the golden sun upon your hair.
Colors are for everyone,
boys and girls, men and women --
be a verdant garden, the landscape of Versailles,
not a pale primrose blindly pushed aside.
Chase green dragons and one-eyed zombies,
fierce and fiery toothy monsters,
not merely lazy butterflies,
sweet and slow on summer days.
For you can tame the most brutish beasts
with your wily wits and charm,
and lizard scales feel just as smooth
as gossamer insect wings.
Tramp muddy through the house in
a purple tutu and cowboy boots.
Have a tea party in your overalls.
Build a fort of birch branches,
a zoo of Legos, a rocketship of
Queen Anne chairs and coverlets,
first stop on the moon.
Dream of dinosaurs and baby dolls,
bold brontosaurus and bookish Belle,
not Barbie on the runway or
Disney damsels in distress --
you are much too strong to play
the simpering waif.
Don a baseball cap, dance with Daddy,
paint your toenails, climb a cottonwood.
Learn to speak with both your mind and heart.
For the ground beneath will hold you, dear --
know that you are free.
And never grow a wishbone, daughter,
where your backbone ought to be.

Mommy Daughter Night

Last night Caitlin and I had a Mommy-Daughter Night.   

I put my phone away.  I turned off the computer and the TV.  It felt weird to be so in the moment with no electronic distractions.  To me, that is something of a wake up call about my dependence on technology.  I have been slowly reducing my use of it, but the habit ("need") is still strong.  I will change this. 

We started with a game of Battleship, which I won by a narrow margin (I'm pretty sure she peeked at my side, the little stinker). 

After Battleship, we busted out some art supplies and got to work.  I used crayons to color a picture of a giant crescent moon (with a very happy face, of course) in the night sky next to a unicorn.  I made her horn, mane and tail multicolored, and the moon blue.  Caitlin made a book with four pages:  the title page (I Love You, by Caitlin), I love my mommy, I love my daddy, and I love Gavin.  Illustrated, of course.  We listened to Pink Floyd "Animals" while we did our art.  I had forgotten the simple joy of doing something artistic and completely unstructured while listening to music.  It was freeing.  I imagined I could feel my brain cells moving in completely different ways than usual.  I loved it.

Then we played a game with these new, tiny little figures that she had picked up that day with Nana.  I don't know what they are called, but they came in tiny little balls.  Caitlin lined up the figures on the edge of a book, set another book in front of them as a "stage", and put on a show for them that consisted of bouncing the empty balls around on the stage.  One minute of our time equaled an hour for the tiny people and animals.

We then watched Kronk's New Groove, had popcorn and pumpkin bars, and snuggled on the couch.  After brushing our teeth, we snuggled in my bed, read a story (Bad Kitty and Poor Puppy), and went to sleep.  Not the best night of sleep I've ever had (she is a restless sleeper!), but it was nice to wake up with my little girl snuggled up next to me.  Daddy was kind enough to switch beds with her so that we could have our sleepover.

Once again, this amazing girl has opened my eyes to wonderful things I completely miss when left to my own devices.  She inspired me and reminded me of the beauty inherent in the simple things.  I am grateful to have such an amazing tiny teacher.

Bike Riding

Caitlin learned how to ride her two-wheeler today without the training wheels!!  I was the one that taught her - not her dad - which I'm pretty excited about.  I'm proud of both of us!

Looking forward to some bike rides with my cutie pie six year old!

The Tooth Fairy Is Coming Back

Caitlin has lost her second tooth.... the bottom right one came out the day before Thanksgiving.  Her grown-up teeth look HUGE!!

Dreams and Such

Every night that I'm home to put Caitlin to bed we decide what we're going to dream about that night.  We've met up at the beach and gotten ice cream, we've gone flying (sans airplane) to Paris where we could eat any food we wanted and it would be healthy for us, and gone diving to the bottom of the ocean like mermaids.

Tonight she said we were going to go to a rainbow and find the pot of gold at the end.... and give the gold to poor people so they wouldn't be poor anymore.  I am madly in love with this child. 

We have this thing we do right now where one of us will squeeze the other ones hand three times saying "snuggle snuggle snuggle", and the other will do it back.  Our hands are snuggling.

I love how such little things can create such big happiness.

Bring on the learnin'

As of this week, Caitlin officially knows how to read and write.  

Kindergarten starts in about two months, and I think she is well prepared.  I, on the other hand, am completely freaked out by the notion of trusting her to strangers for half of every day.  Sigh.....guess I'll make sure to be very involved and grit my teeth and let her venture out - no matter how scared I may be.  She's very excited and not at all scared, so I will follow her lead.

Another Caitlin and Gavin Tidbit

Caitlin: "Hey Mom, know what happens if you laugh forever?"

Me: "What?"

Caitlin:  "Your bones show."

Me:  "....oh!"

***

Caitlin has decided she no longer wants to be a "real firegirl" when she grows up - now she is going to be an artist.  Neither choice would surprise me.  Gavin is still wanting to design video games.

Also, Caitlin's new nickname is Angel Pie Deluxe.

Another Caitlin Tidbit

(a very small one)

Caitlin is prefacing almost every sentence with either "usually" or "at least" these days.  She's also starting to use my lines against me..... telling me the answer isn't going to change when I ask her a question more than once.  Smart girl!

Picture Post

 Testing out our new camera.....

 Montana de Oro

 My little artist.

 This guy was chillin' on my windshield. 

 Elephant seals at San Simeon.

 Driving up the coast for no reason at all.....

 Spirit Garden in Big Sur.

 Rock on.

 Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History 2.27.11

 Stearns Wharf

Reservoir Canyone Hike

Such a beautiful hike!  Caity and I got to cross that sweet little stream twice.... she learned how to walk on a log today all by herself!

Picture quality....not so hot.  I took these with my not-so-great cell phone - but better than nothing! 

Fantastic day.  Next time I'll make sure the battery on my real camera is charged.